The most recent updates can be found at the bottom of this page. If you've never been here before, read on...
Who I Am
My name is Tom Locke. I'm not poor; I'm not rich. I'm just an average guy.
In fact, who I am is actually irrelevant to this experiment. I just figured I'd introduce
myself for the sake of formality.
How This Started
I was sitting around one day, skimming through a pile of bills that I needed to pay.
I looked over at a new, unopened roll of stamps that I had sitting in front of me, and I
thought to myself, "$39... for a roll of stamps? Geez...
You can't get much for $39 nowadays. Or can you...?"
The Idea
The way I looked at it, if I took $39 and went to buy groceries, I wouldn't be able to
get all that much. On the flipside, if I took $39 to a casino and lost it all, I wouldn't be
all that upset. With that said, I decided I was going to try something —
I was going to take my roll of stamps and send 100 letters to 100 different companies, asking
for free stuff. I figured that I couldn't do any worse than blowing the $39 at a casino, and
who knows... maybe a few of these places would actually send me something good.
My Initial Goal
My initial goal was a little different than what I actually ended up doing.
When I started this experiment, I'd planned on walking around my house,
grabbing various products (100 total), and pulling the mailing address off of each one. Easy, no? No.
This proved to be way more difficult than I'd anticipated.
First off, most of the products I picked up had the company's city, state, and zip code
on them, but no actual address. When I was lucky enough to find a product with
an address on it, it ended up being an address I already had — 90% of the products
in my bathroom were made by either Colgate-Palmolive or Procter & Gamble, and most
of the stuff in my kitchen was made by Kraft, Nestle, or Hershey. It became obvious pretty early
that finding 100 products around my house with 100 different addresses wasn't going to be as
easy as I thought it was going to be. I needed to change my plan a bit...
My Modified Goal
By about the "60 address" mark, I fell into a slump. I had exhausted every product in my house. I was
amazed at how many different products were made by only a small handful of companies. I realized
that if I wanted to get 100 company addresses, I was going to have to think outside of my
house. So, I broadened my scope and starting pulling addresses of other companies — fast
food joints, hotels, car rental companies, auto manufacturers... that sort of stuff. I figured,
"Hey, a freebie's a freebie." I'm not a fast food lover, but this experiment was less about
getting free stuff and more about seeing which companies would actually send me free stuff.
The Finished Product
About ten hours (over the course of two days) and exactly two bloodshot eyes
later, it was complete. I had 100 letters to 100 different companies —
stuffed, sealed, stamped, and ready to go. I put all 100 letters into the mail on
Friday, February 24, 2006 at 9 AM. Now all that was left to do was sit back and wait
for a response (or two?)
Random Conclusions
Once I had all 100 letters, I reviewed my work and came to a few random conclusions:
- A surprising number of companies (mostly big companies) have no mention of their
company address anywhere — not on their products, not on their websites,
nowhere... I guess big companies don't use snail mail these days.
- Of the products which did have company addresses on them, most were either products
from small companies — or pet products. Almost every bag of dog treats
that I looked at had a company address on it, whereas not one human snack product that I
looked at did... I guess they're not afraid of dogs writing in and
complaining to them.
- The majority of "cosmetic" products (soaps, detergents, toothpastes, cosmetics, cleaning
products, etc.)
that I looked at were made by one of only three or four companies. I plan to start using
shampoo as mouthwash and shaving cream, being that they all come from the same general place.
- Some company addresses were so difficult to find, it almost seemed intentional. In
a few cases, I had to resort to a consumer advocacy site like
my3cents.com or a site like CNN Money to find a company address.
The List
It was at about this point when I decided that it would be fun to put this experiment online for
others to check out.
Below, you'll find all 100 actual letters that I sent out to the 100 different companies I'd selected.
You'll notice that I "tested the waters" a bit in some of the letters —
some of them are simple and to the point, while others are way more off-the-wall.
I think as I went along, I started to get a little more "ballsy",
and I started to have more fun writing the letters. I'm curious to find out which "style" of letter does better,
in terms of actually bringing in free product.
As any responses or free product come in, this list will be updated.
| Company |
Product |
Response? |
My Letter |
| Reynolds(#1) |
Aluminum foil |
UNEVENTFUL
Sent me a recipe brochure containing a few incidental coupons |
Dear Sir or Madam:
I have been using Reynolds foil religiously for more than ten years. In fact, I cook with it everyday! Whether I'm wrapping something in it to steam or putting something messy on top of it to bake, I just love the stuff.
Would you happen to have any free product or samples that you could send me? I'd definitely appreciate it!
Thanks a bunch!
Tom Locke, Reynolds foil enthusiast |
| Gatorade(#2) |
Propel fitness water |
YES!
Three 60-cent coupons for Propel |
Dear Sir or Madam:
I love the many flavors of your Propel drink. It seems that you're coming out with new flavors all the time, which is great! Please send me a bottle of your favorite flavor of Propel. I can't decide on my favorite, so I'd like to try yours.
Thanks!
Tom Locke, natural flavor enthusiast |
| Fellowes(#3) |
Compressed air in a can |
YES!
Four free cans of compressed air |
Dear Sir or Madam:
I can't begin to tell you how much I love your Air Duster product. I use it for things way beyond what I bet it was intended for. Sure, I dust my keyboard with it – but I dust my furniture and my dog with it, too! Yes, my dog! I have a Husky, and he sheds like crazy, and your Air Duster works great for removing excess fur from him. (his name is Rufus Huxtable, by the way.)
Anyway, can you send me a free can (or two?) of your Air Duster? Whatever you can do would be great.
Thanks!
Tom Locke, canned air enthusiast |
| Pfizer(#4) |
Purell hand sanitizer |
YES!
Three 50-cent coupons for Purell |
Dear Sir or Madam:
I am in love with your Purell hand sanitizer. Never before have I thought that a product composed primarily of alcohol could actually moisturize my hands. Your hand sanitizer does just that.
Do you have any free samples of this product that I could have? In fact, I am a free sample "addict", and I'd like free samples of any/every product you have.
Thank you.
Tom Locke, hygiene enthusiast |
| Trader Joe's(#5) |
Unique grocery items |
REJECTED!
Told me "no" — sent me nothing |
Dear Sir or Madam:
I love your monthly product flyers (they're quite witty). I also love your products. I always turn to Trader Joe's for specialty sauces and exotic and foreign oddities. The store by my house is always giving away free samples of coffee and/or juice, and it's always good stuff!
Do you have any free product samples that you could send me? Nothing easily perishable, of course. But maybe something like that good anti-Ox-idant berry and nut trail mix? Or something else? I just love surprises!
Thank you.
Tom Locke, gourmet food enthusiast |
| Wrigley's(#6) |
Gum |
REJECTED!
Told me to buy my own gum — and where to buy it!
|
Dear Sir or Madam:
I am a gum addict. I have tried every flavor of gum made, and nothing compares to your Eclipse "Cherry Ice". Did you stop making that flavor? I've heard people say that it tastes like a cough drop to them – but I love the flavor.
Please send me free samples of any and every single gum flavor you have and can send me. I love gum more than I can put into words. Remember that girl from Willy Wonka, always chewing gum? I put that girl to shame.
Thank you.
Tom Locke, gum enthusiast |
| Kraft(#7) |
Various food products |
REJECTED!
Told me "no" — sent me nothing |
Dear Sir or Madam:
Please send me a free sample of every Kraft product made. If you are hesitant to send highly perishable items like cheese, I fully understand. I'll take whatever you have.
Thank you.
Tom Locke, food enthusiast |
| Target(#8) |
Rubber bands |
REJECTED!
Told me "no" — sent me nothing |
Dear Sir or Madam:
I bought a bag of rubber bands from a Target store a few days back, and I must say – I'm very pleased with them. They were made by "work.org". Please send me a free bag of these rubber bands, so that I may share them with my friends.
Thank you.
Tom Locke, life enthusiast |
| Celestial Seasonings(#9) |
Tea |
YES!
Three teabags and three coupons for free and discounted tea |
Dear Sir or Madam:
I love tea, and I especially love your tea. Do you make an English Breakfast, Irish Breakfast, or Earl Grey flavor? These are flavors I've not seen made by Celestial Seasonings. Also, would you please be so kind as to send me samples of some of your best teas? I've had many, but certainly not all!
Thank you very much!
Tom Locke, tea enthusiast |
| Burt's Bees(#10) |
Lip balm |
YES!
A free stick of Burt's Bees |
Dear Sir or Madam:
My wife uses your Burt's Bees stick like it's going out of style. You think I could get a free stick of it?
Thanks in advance,
Tom Locke, general enthusiast |
| Annie Chun's(#11) |
Soup |
No |
Dear Annie Chun:
Do you have any free samples of your soups that you could please send to me? I've had only the Miso variety, and I loved it! It was umami!
Thank you very, very much!
Tom Locke, soup enthusiast |
| Frito-Lay(#12) |
Chips |
YES!
Two 55-cent coupons |
Dear Sir or Madam:
I love your chips. Potato chips, corn chips, baked chips, fried chips. I love them all. I don't know exactly what it is. I think you guys could stick a whole potato in a bag and stick your name on it, and it would taste good.
Anyway, would it be possible for you to send me a few free samples of your newest chips? I like to try all of the newest flavors, but I don't get out much.
Thanks for anything you can send over.
Tom Locke, chip enthusiast |
| Carma Labs(#13) |
Carmex lip balm |
YES!
A free jar of Carmex |
Dear Sir or Madam:
I know people claim that Carmex is addictive, and I know that you claim it's not. Either way, I love it. I slather virtually half of my face with it prior to bed each night (I don't wear it during the day, because I don't like feeling the least bit greasy).
Anyway, I just wanted to tell you that I love Carmex. I once forgot to bring my Carmex with me on business trip, and I was stuck buying an over-priced ChapStick in a hotel lobby. And boy, is that stuff junk. It felt like I was spreading old cheese on my lips.
Anyway, can I have a free jar of Carmex? I'm not poor or anything, I just like freebies.
Thanks in advance,
Tom Locke, Carmex enthusiast |
| Gillette(#14) |
Razors |
No |
Dear Sir or Madam:
I need your help. I am terribly indecisive, and when shopping for a new razor, I am inundated by the number of choices you offer. Mach 2, Mach 3, Turbo, Sensor, Sensor XL, the list goes on and on. Can you send me a free sample of each type of razor you produce? If that's not feasible, perhaps you can send me what you personally consider the best Gilette razor?
Right now, I shave my face with my wife's brand of leg razors. You know, those "50 for a dollar" pink junk things that only remove hair as a side effect of removing a layer of your skin with it. Those razors aren't very good.
Thanks for your help,
Tom Locke, shaving enthusiast |
| Safeway(#15) |
Wholesale grocer (Costco) |
OOPS!
Kindly told me that I wrote to the wrong company |
Dear Sir or Madam:
A while back, I purchased a two-pack of frozen vegetable lasagna from Costco. It was fabulous! During my recent trip back to Costco, I found that no vegetable lasagnas were in stock, and nobody had information as to when they'd return.
Would you please send me a tray of this vegetable lasagna? If you're leery about sending a frozen lasagna through the mail, I understand. Costco also has a bag of dried Shitake mushrooms that I love. I'll take some of those, instead. I used them in a homemade mushroom bisque. It was heavenly.
Thank you for your consideration,
Tom Locke, Costco enthusiast |
| Subway(#16) |
Sandwiches |
REJECTED!
Told me "no" — sent me nothing |
Dear Sir or Madam:
I'm just writing to you to tell you that I hate Quiznos, and I hate that freaky sock puppet they used to have singing on their commercials. Just what I want – an ugly, mentally disturbed corporate mascot.
Anyway, I eat Subway for lunch all the time. I love the roast chicken breast. Can I get some freebies? Free subs? Free chips? Free anything? If you're feeling generous, I'll take a free party sub. I don't have a ton of friends, but that won't stop me from eating it!
Thanks for everything!
Tom Locke, Subway enthusiast |
| Quiznos(#17) |
Sandwiches |
No |
Dear Sir or Madam:
I'm just writing to you to tell you that I hate Subway. I hate Jared. He annoys me. So some fat guy lost a bunch of weight. Who cares? Doesn't make their nasty, flavorless subs taste any different. Anyway, I love your Classic Italian. I put banana peppers on it to top it off. I usually get that chicken corn chowder soup, a mini chocolate bundt cake, and a bottle of water to finish the meal.
Your food quite simply rocks. Can I get something free? Sandwiches, soups, coupons, shirts? Whatever you got. I love the freebies!
Thanks for everything!
Tom Locke, Quiznos enthusiast |
| Jimmy John's(#18) |
Sandwiches |
No |
Dear Jimmy John:
I love your sandwiches. Your bread is great. I love the Gargantuan. I can rip that sandwich a new one! Man, that's a lot of meat! mmmmm, meat! Anyway. I just wanted to tell you how much I dig your food. And, oh, yeah, the link to your menu on your Website is broke. Can I get something free for pointing that out? Like a sandwich, or some BBQ chips, or a shirt? I love the signs you got hanging in your joints. Can I get one of those?
Thanks well in advance,
Tom Locke, sandwich enthusiast |
| Max and Erma's(#19) |
Sit-down restaurant |
YES!
A free hat, travel cup, and fake tattoos |
Dear Sir or Madam:
I love your food! Your pot pie and your Caribbean chicken are my usual choices. Can I get any freebies? Like a gift card, or a shirt, or something else cool? It's not like I'm going to stop eating at Max and Erma's if you don't send me anything – I just think it would be fun to get a surprise in the mail.
Thanks well in advance,
Tom Locke, home cookin' enthusiast |
| T.G.I. Friday's(#20) |
Sit-down restaurant |
REJECTED!
Told me "no" — sent me nothing |
Dear Sir or Madam:
I love your food! Your pulled pork sandwich is my usual choice. Can I get any freebies? Like a gift card, or a shirt, or something else cool? It's not like I'm going to stop eating at Friday's if you don't send me anything – I just think it would be fun to get something cool in the mail from you!
Thanks well in advance,
Tom Locke, BBQ enthusiast |
| Sanford(#21) |
Pens |
YES!
Four free pens |
Dear Sir or Madam:
My wife is an English teacher, and she raves about your "Uni-ball" pens. She goes through those things like they were made out of cake. Any chance you could send over some free samples of those (or other) pens? That would be great!
Thanks well in advance,
Tom Locke, consumer product enthusiast |
| S.C. Johnson(#22) |
Various cleaning products & cosmetic items |
YES!
A coupon for free Skintimate shaving gel |
Dear Sir or Madam:
I have a house full of your products, and I'd like to ask you to send me free samples of some of your newer, exciting products that I may not have seen. My wife has a seemingly endless rainbow of your "Skintimate" shaving products, which she likes. Whatever you can send me would be great. I just love free samples!
Thanks well in advance,
Tom Locke, free sample enthusiast |
| Airborne(#23) |
Cold remedy product |
YES!
A free tube of Airborne |
Dear Sir or Madam:
I'd say that Airborne is the greatest thing since sliced bread, but I tell you – sliced bread doesn't even come close! I take Airborne religiously at the first hint of a cold, and I feel like Jack Lalanne afterwards every time (except for that whole boat chained to my legs thing he had going on).
Anyway, any chance I could get a free sample or something else cool and exciting? Whatever you got, I'll take!
Thanks well in advance,
Tom Locke, health and wellness enthusiast |
| Biore(#24) |
Nose strips |
REJECTED!
Told me "no" — sent me nothing |
Dear Sir or Madam:
I love Biore! I never squeeze pimples or blackheads anymore. I even get blackheads on my back and shoulders, and I just slap a Biore strip onto them. No more picking, no more popping, no more red battle scars from obsessive squeezing.
What do you have in the way of free samples? I am a free sample addict, and I will take whatever you can send me. I love trying out new products!
Thanks well in advance,
Tom Locke, cosmetic enthusiast |
| Nylabone(#25) |
Pet products |
YES!
A "minty fresh" dog chew toy |
Dear Sir or Madam:
My dog (a random mutt) loves your "Healthy Edibles" bones. I wanted to name the dog "Bonecrusher", but my wife ended up naming him "Rudy Huxtable". What a stupid name for a dog. Anyway, your bones are the only thing that stops this dog from molesting my leg while I'm working on the computer.
Any chance you could send over some free samples? My dog – and my leg – would greatly appreciate it!
Thanks well in advance,
Tom Locke, "keeping my dog off of my leg" enthusiast |
| Galderma(#26) |
Facial cleanser |
No |
Dear Sir or Madam:
I use your Cetaphil cleanser daily to wash my nasty face. Do you have a travel size or free samples of Cetaphil that you could send to me? The bottle that I have is much too large to fit into a travel bag when I go on business trips.
Thanks well in advance,
Tom Locke, miniature product enthusiast |
| Sausages By Amy(#27) |
Sausages |
No |
Dear Amy:
I absolutely love your "chicken gouda" sausages. I buy the big packs from Costco, and I eat them daily. I usually cook up two fried eggs, and two sausages. I feel like a new man after eating. It's like they're brain food, or something!
Better yet, my dog, Dirty Nelly (a shar-pei), is a fussy, fussy eater, and he loves your sausages!
Any chance of getting a free sample or something? If you're hesitant about sending sausages in the mail, I'll take shirts, mugs, coupons, or whatever else you have.
Thanks well in advance,
Tom Locke, sausage enthusiast |
| Kim and Scott's(#28) |
Pretzels |
REJECTED!
Told me "no" — sent me nothing |
Dear Kim and/or Scott:
I had one of your pretzels at a Border's bookstore, and I must say – it was great! It was a stuffed pizza one. Anyway, please send me any samples you can of your other pretzel flavors. I have a problem with commitment, so before I buy anything (yes, even food!), I like to try it out.
Whatever you can do would be most appreciated!
Thanks well in advance,
Tom Locke, pretzel enthusiast |
| Lush Cosmetics(#29) |
Bath products |
No |
Dear Sir or Madam:
I love your bath bombs! I really love the "Black Pearl", with that little bit-o-wisdom stuffed inside of it. The last one I got was "slip seven times, get up eight times". I like that! Anyway, can you send me some free samples? You have so much to choose from, I can't make up my mind!
Whatever you can do would be most appreciated!
Thanks well in advance,
Tom Locke, bath enthusiast |
| Quaker(#30) |
Various food products |
REJECTED!
Told me "no" — sent me nothing |
Dear Sir or Madam:
I have a house full of Quaker products. I love your granola bars – especially those chewy ones. Please send me free samples of any new and exciting products that you think I might enjoy. I am always interested in new and exciting experiences for my taste buds.
Thank you well in advance,
Tom Locke, food enthusiast |
| McDonald's(#31) |
Fast food |
REJECTED!
Told me "no" — sent me nothing |
Dear Sir or Madam:
You may love to see me smile, but I, however, love to see me eat. Please send me coupons for free McDonald's product, so that I may continue to eat (and smile).
Thank you well in advance,
Tom Locke, eating enthusiast |
| PowerBar(#32) |
Healthfood bars |
No |
Dear Sir or Madam:
I am a tall, skinny, lanky, pasty white, beanpole of a man. I am on a quest to turn my skinny self into a chiseled god-like creature. Please, please, send me a free PowerBar or two, so that I can meet my goals. Please don't send too many, however; in my current state of fitness-less, I doubt I'd be able to lift the box.
Thank you for your support,
Tom Locke, fitness enthusiast |
| Dairy Queen(#33) |
Ice cream |
YES!
Three $1 gift certificates |
Dear Sir or Madam:
With my birthday rapidly approaching (in August), I was wondering if you'd be so kind as to send me a coupon for a free Dairy Queen treat. Nothing cools me down in the summer quite like a frozen D.Q. Blizzard.
Thank you well in advance,
Tom Locke, cold food enthusiast |
| Nestle(#34) |
Various food products |
YES!
Two coupons for Nestle candy |
Dear Sir or Madam:
I love Nestle, and I love free stuff, so I thought writing this letter was the perfect idea. As I scanned the products in my house, I noticed that Nestle makes a lot of them. With that said, please send me samples of other interesting products – especially those which you think may surprise me when I learn that they are made by Nestle. And I'm sorry, but I can't find out how to make that mark over the "e", so I just have to say "Nestle".
Thank you well in advance,
Tom Locke, "free stuff" enthusiast |
| Energizer(#35) |
Batteries |
YES!
Three $1 coupons |
Dear Sir or Madam:
My wife watches so much television, I sometimes forget that she's not physically and permanently attached to my couch. Anyway. It came to my attention yesterday that I own eleven – yes eleven – remote controls. Absurd, I know. I was wondering if you'd be able to help me, by sending me some free batteries – AA in size. If I can't un-glue my wife from the television, at least maybe I can cut down on the cost of keeping her around by getting a few free batteries to keep the eleven remote controls operative.
Thank you well in advance,
Tom Locke, television anti-enthusiast |
| Hormel(#36) |
Spam, chili |
REJECTED!
Told me "no" — sent me chili recipes instead |
Dear Sir or Madam:
I love your products. Well, I'm actually not too crazy about Spam. The meat is a little too... can-shaped... for my taste. It's a little creepy. Anyway. I am writing to you because I am a chili connoisseur, and I love your chili. Please send me all of the free chili samples you can, without getting yourself into trouble for giving away too much free chili to a guy like me.
Thank you well in advance,
Tom Locke, chili enthusiast |
| Stash(#37) |
Tea |
YES!
Nine free tea samples and a tea catalog |
Dear Sir or Madam:
I love tea, and I especially love your tea. Do you make an English Breakfast or Irish Breakfast flavor? These are flavors I've not seen made by Stash. Also, would you please be so kind as to send me samples of some of your best teas? I've had most of them, but certainly not all of them!
Thank you very much!
Tom Locke, tea enthusiast |
| Chicken of the Sea(#38) |
Canned tuna |
YES!
Coupons for free and discounted tuna |
Dear Sir or Madam:
Do you make products other than canned tuna? I love oysters and clams, too. Do you have any free samples of canned oysters or clams that you could send me? I like tuna, too, though, so if that's all you have, I'd like a free can of that, too.
Thank you very much!
Tom Locke, canned seafood enthusiast |
| Stacy's Pita Chips(#39) |
Pita chips |
No |
Dear Stacy:
What MilkBone is to dogs, Stacy's Pita Chips is to humans, and I mean that in a good way! When I eat your pita chips with my lunch, my teeth feel clean! No other wimpy chip does that. It must be all of those rough, abrasive, micro pita molecules bashing the slime off of my teeth.
Anyway, do you have a free sample or two you could send my way? I've only had your original flavor, but I'm sure you have others, and I'm dying to try them.
Thank you very much!
Tom Locke, clean teeth enthusiast |
| Smuckers(#40) |
Jams & jellies |
REJECTED!
Told me "no" — sent me nothing
| Dear Sir or Madam:
Do you know what my favorite breakfast is? I'll tell you. It's half of a brick of Philadelphia cream cheese, covered with Smuckers raspberry jelly. Refreshing and delicious. I got hungry just typing this.
Please send me some free jelly or jam.
Thank you well in advance,
Tom Locke, jelly and jam enthusiast |
| Wyeth(#41) |
ChapStick |
YES!
Three ChapSticks and coupons |
Dear Sir or Madam:
I hate the way that the harsh winters make my lips crack like a caffeinated mobster under a heat lamp. Please send me a free stick of your most powerful ChapStick, as I have yet to find anything that soothes my sore, aching lips.
Thank you well in advance,
Tom Locke, smooth lip enthusiast |
| Wallace's Old Fashion Skins(#42) |
Pork skins |
No |
Dear Wallace:
I'm a big city boy, but nothing satisfies my hunger (and dissatisfies my cardiologist) more than a good old bag of pork skins. I recently came across your company online, and I want to try your pork skins. So, gimme some skin! No, seriously. Let me try a bag. Thanks!
Sooeeeeee! (that's my pig call)
Tom Locke, pig, hog, and pork skin enthusiast |
| Industrial Tool & Die(#43) |
Nail clippers |
No |
Dear Sir or Madam:
I recently read online that you folks make the best fingernail clipper available. I currently use a nasty old rusty pair of clippers that I'm surprised hasn't given me tetanus by now.
Do you think that you could send me a pair of those clippers? I tell ya, I really, really need 'em.
Thanks in advance,
Tom Locke, nail care enthusiast |
| Colgate-Palmolive(#44) |
Various cleaning products & cosmetic items |
YES!
10 coupons worth a total of $6 |
Dear Sir or Madam:
I love personal care products, and I love free samples. Please send me every free sample you have available. Toothpastes, soaps, everything. I greatly appreciate this.
Thank you well in advance,
Tom Locke, personal care enthusiast |
| Durex(#45) |
Condoms |
No |
Dear Sir or Madam:
I currently use Trojan Magnum XL condoms, and while they are the proper size, they don't offer me the sensation that Durex condoms do. Does Durex have an extra large condom available, comparable to the Trojan Magnum XL? Please send me a few samples if such a condom exists. I need that Durex sensation without unnecessarily strangling my member in a smaller-sized condom.
Thank you well in advance,
Tom Locke, intercourse enthusiast |
| Hershey(#46) |
Chocolate |
REJECTED!
Told me "no" — sent me nothing |
Dear Sir or Madam:
I love Hershey chocolate. I cannot fully articulate my passion for chocolate. I particularly enjoy dark, dark chocolate. Please send me samples of the darkest chocolates you have available, so that I may experience new taste sensations.
Thank you well in advance,
Tom Locke, chocolate enthusiast |
| Popcorn Palace(#47) |
Popcorn |
No |
Dear Sir or Madam:
I was recently given a bag of your Popcorn Palace popcorn, covered in chocolate (the popcorn was covered in chocolate, not the bag). Anyway. This popcorn was by far the best popcorn I've ever had. Please send me a free bag of this popcorn – or if you're feeling exceptionally generous, please send me a bag of each flavor so that I may live a life of variety.
Thank you well in advance,
Tom Locke, popcorn enthusiast |
| Brownberry(#48) |
Bread |
YES!
Three $1 coupons |
Dear Sir or Madam:
The other day, I made a sandwich using your Brownberry oatnut bread. While I was enjoying my sandwich, I realized that I forgot to put anything on it. I was, indeed, eating a slice of bread, atop another slice of bread – with nothing more than air between the slices. And you know something? It was still excellent!
Please send me a free loaf of this oatnut bread, or something comparable. I love that bread. It's good without meat or cheese. It's just good, good bread.
Thank you well in advance,
Tom Locke, bread enthusiast |
| Republic of Tea(#49) |
Tea |
No |
Dear Tea Minister:
I regularly drink your Ginger Peach tea and your Earl Greyer (bag form). I do, however, own more than ten other flavors. I was wondering if you could send me a Republic of Tea "sampler". You have so many flavors, that I'd like to sample them all. I appreciate it very much.
Thank you well in advance,
Tom Locke, tea enthusiast |
| Eight in One Pet Products(#50) |
Pet Products |
YES!
$25 worth of free dog snacks |
Dear Sir or Madam:
I own a Rottweiler named Sir Shagwell. I am writing to you on both Shagwell's behalf, as well as my own. Before I feed Shagwell any type of pet snacks, I personally sample them to assess their quality and flavor. After all, if I think they taste bad, what is Shagwell expected to think?
I just wanted to let you know that your "Dingoroo" dog treats taste excellent, and Sir Shagwell agrees with me. I would like to request free samples of any similar treats you may have available. I appreciate the quality that obviously goes into making your products.
Thank you well in advance,
Tom Locke, pet product enthusiast |
| Del Monte Pet Products(#51) |
Pet Products |
YES!
Five coupons for free and discounted dog snacks |
Dear Sir or Madam:
I own a Boston Terrier named Lil' Brudder. I am writing to you on both Lil' Brudder's behalf, as well as my own. Before I feed Lil' Brudder any type of pet snacks, I personally sample them to assess their quality and flavor. After all, if I think they taste bad, what is Lil' Brudder expected to think?
I just wanted to let you know that your "Canine Carry Outs" dog treats taste excellent, and Lil' Brudder agrees with me. I would like to request free samples of any similar treats you may have available. I appreciate the quality that obviously goes into making your products.
Thank you well in advance,
Tom Locke, pet product enthusiast |
| World Variety Produce(#52) |
Produce |
No |
Dear Sir or Madam:
I recently made a lobster bisque using your "Melissa's Shallots", and they were the finest shallots I've ever used. The flavor was exquisite. Do you have samples of any other fine produce which you could send to me for my culinary exploration?
Thank you well in advance,
Tom Locke, produce enthusiast |
| Vitners(#53) |
Potato chips |
No |
Dear Sir or Madam:
I love Vitner chips. Best. Chips. Around. Period. Hands-down. I love them so much, in fact, that I'd like to ask you to send me a bag of every flavor you have so that I can decide on my single favorite. If this equates to too many bags of chips, I'll take whatever you have and can send my way.
Thank you well in advance,
Tom Locke, chip enthusiast |
| Riceland(#54) |
Rice |
YES!
Three coupons for free and discounted rice |
Dear Sir or Madam:
I'm getting bored with plain old "white rice". Please send me a bag of the wildest, most exotic, kicked-up rice variety you have. My mouth needs some excitement.
Thank you well in advance,
Tom Locke, rice enthusiast |
| Eden Foods(#55) |
Soy products |
YES!
Pasta, tea, and soymilk |
Dear Sir or Madam:
I love soybeans. I love soymilk. Please send me samples of other exciting soy products which you think that I may enjoy.
Thank you well in advance,
Tom Locke, soy enthusiast |
| General Mills(#56) |
Cereal |
REJECTED!
Told me "no" — sent me nothing |
Dear Sir or Madam:
I often eat cereal for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. I am a cereal aficionado. Please send me a free sample of every General Mills cereal made. I want to be only person amongst my group of friends who can claim to have eaten every kind of cereal you make!
Thank you kindly,
Tom Locke, cereal enthusiast |
| Coca-Cola(#57) |
Coke |
No |
Dear Sir or Madam:
Do you have any free samples that you want to send me? I love Coke, and I love free samples. Mini bottles of Coke? Coke flavored gum? Mints? Candy? Anything else that the Coca-Cola company makes? Collectable shirts, mugs, hats, mouse pads? I'll take anything you got!
Thank you in advance,
Tom Locke, cola enthusiast |
| Pepsi(#58) |
Pepsi |
YES!
A Pepsi pen, pencil, stickers, and gift catalog |
Dear Sir or Madam:
Do you have any free samples that you can send me? I love Pepsi, and I love free samples. Miniature or travel-size bottles of Pepsi? Pepsi flavored gum? Mints? Candy? Anything else that the Pepsi company makes? Collectable shirts, mugs, hats, mouse pads? I'll take anything you have!
Thank you in advance,
Tom Locke, cola enthusiast |
| Office Max(#59) |
Office supplies |
REJECTED!
Told me "no" — sent me nothing |
Dear Sir or Madam:
I recently started my own small business, and I was wondering if you would be so kind as to provide me with free samples of office supplies that I may need to help me get started. Rubber bands, paper clips, pens, staplers, staples. Anything that you think would help a budding entrepreneur to make it through the busy days!
Thank you in advance,
Tom Locke, business enthusiast |
| Staples(#60) |
Office supplies |
No |
Dear Sir or Madam:
I recently started my own small business, and I was wondering if you would be so kind as to provide me with free samples of office supplies that I may need to help me get started. Rubber bands, paper clips, pens, staplers, staples. Anything that you think would help a budding entrepreneur to make it through the busy days!
Thank you in advance,
Tom Locke, business enthusiast |
| Biotene(#61) |
Mouthwash |
YES!
A few samples of gum, toothpaste, and mouthwash |
Dear Sir or Madam:
Do you have any free samples or travel sizes of your Biotene mouthwash that you can send me? I had several canker sores last year the size of nickels, and they were brutal. Your Biotene product is the only thing I've found that doesn't destroy my oral mucosa.
Thank you!
Tom Locke, oral hygiene enthusiast |
| Fisher Nuts(#62) |
Nuts |
No |
Dear Sir or Madam:
I love nuts! Do you have any free samples of your nuts that I could try? I love raw nuts, in particular. While I'm quite partial to raw cashews and almonds, I'll gladly try anything that you're willing to send me.
Thank you kindly,
Tom Locke, raw nut enthusiast |
| Church & Dwight(#63) |
Arm & Hammer baking soda products |
UNEVENTFUL
Sent me a baking soda brochure which contained a few incidental coupons |
Dear Sir or Madam:
Do you have any samples of your cleaning products that you could send me? I use Arm & Hammer baking soda for everything around the house, but I'd love to try any other new and exciting products that you may have. I once cleaned every toilet in my home with nothing more than baking soda and a toothbrush. My wife thought I was insane, and my dog (Uncle Jeepers) was a tad upset that he couldn't drink from the toilet for the day, but the results were worth it!
Thank you in advance,
Tom Locke, home cleanliness enthusiast |
| Clorox(#64) |
Bleach |
REJECTED!
Told me "no" — sent me nothing |
Dear Sir or Madam:
Do you have any free product samples that you could send my way? I love your Clorox Wipes, and your "splash less" bleach. I'll admit it. I lead a pretty boring, uneventful life, but I do enjoy cleaning my house. With that said, any freebies you can send my way will ensure that even if my days aren't bright, at least my toilets and sinks will be!
Thank you in advance,
Tom Locke, home cleanliness enthusiast |
| Procter and Gamble(#65) |
Various cleaning products |
REJECTED!
Told me "no" — sent me nothing |
Dear Sir or Madam:
Do you have any free product samples that you could send my way? I'd love samples of laundry soaps, especially those fragrance-free soaps. I really love those Mr. Clean Magic Erasers you make, too. Those things really are magic. Basically, anything that you have and you think I'd like, I'll take!
Thank you in advance,
Tom Locke, free sample enthusiast |
| Chiquita(#66) |
Fruit |
No |
Dear Sir or Madam:
I love fruit. I love bananas! Do you have any samples or trial sizes of fruit that you could send me? Not like, miniature fruits, but like, trial size packages. I understand that shipping bananas via standard postal mail could prove fruitless (no pun intended), but if you have samples of dried fruits – especially dried bananas – I'd love them!
Thank you in advance,
Tom Locke, fruit enthusiast |
| Barilla(#67) |
Pasta |
REJECTED!
Told me "no" — sent me nothing |
Dear Sir or Madam:
Please send me free samples of your pasta. I've heard that it's the best pasta around, and I've not as of yet tried it. I heard that your pasta doesn't stick to itself – I could have used that thirty years ago, when my mother used to hit me with wet noodles. They stuck to me like glue, so they obviously were not Barilla noodles!
Thank you in advance,
Tom Locke, pasta enthusiast |
| Golden Grain(#68) |
Rice-a-Roni |
REJECTED!
Told me "no" — sent me Rice-a-Roni recipes instead |
Dear Sir or Madam:
Please send me free samples of your rice products. I currently make my own "flavored rice", by starting with plain white rice and seasoning it on my own. It never seems to come out quite right, and it's more of a pain than it's worth. In fact, it often just tastes like white rice, only orange. It's usually not very good. Any samples you can send to me would be much appreciated.
Thank you in advance,
Tom Locke, rice enthusiast |
| Cold Stone(#69) |
Ice cream |
No |
Dear Sir or Madam:
I love your iced cream! Watching my custom creation hand-crafted as I watch is surpassed only by actually devouring said creation. My wife and I make weekly trips to Cold Stone for your frozen treats. She always gets the same thing; I always try something new!
Do you think that you could send us a Cold Stone freebie or a gift card or something of that sort? We'd both appreciate it!
Thank you kindly,
Tom Locke, iced cream enthusiast |
| Auntie Anne's(#70) |
Pretzels |
No |
Dear Auntie Anne:
I love your pretzels! I had one before that had so much butter on it, I thought I was eating a sponge. It was great! I love butter. So, your pretzels hit the spot. Can you send me a coupon for a free pretzel or something? Every time I pass up the Auntie Anne's in the mall, I start to salivate like a Pavlov dog!
Thank you kindly,
Tom Locke, pretzel enthusiast |
| Long John Silver's(#71) |
Fast food |
OOPS!
Returned to sender — "Unable to forward"resent with correct address |
Dear Sir or Madam:
Ahoy! I am writing to you to request a free coupon, or something equally exciting. I love your breaded clams. I love your fish covered in malt vinegar. I love it all. Like I said, I'd love some free coupons! If it were socially acceptable, I'd wear a hat and an eye patch in your restaurants, and I'd bring along a parrot. Aye!
Thank you in advance,
Tom Locke, pirate enthusiast |
| White Castle(#72) |
Fast food |
YES!
Coupons for 19 burgers and more |
Dear Sir or Madam:
I am writing to you to tell you that I don't care what they say about you! I've heard people call your burgers "sliders", implying that that they "slide right out". I've never had a problem of that caliber with your mini morsels of goodness. They certainly "slide in" just fine, and I like it like that. Any chance of sending me a coupon for a free burger, or a free sack of ten, or something? I can't get enough of your burgers. I wish there were more of your establishments in my area.
Thank you in advance,
Tom Locke, tiny burger enthusiast |
| Red Lobster(#73) |
Sit-down restaurant |
REJECTED!
Told me "no" — sent me nothing |
Dear Sir or Madam:
I love shrimp! I love crab! I love coupons! Shrimp + crab + free coupons + me = happy. I never was very good at math, but I think you get my point. I'd love a free coupon or something.
Thank you in advance,
Tom Locke, seafood enthusiast |
| Kentucky Fried Chicken(#74) |
Fast food |
No |
Dear Sir or Madam:
I have to tell you – I love your chicken. It's the best fried chicken around. The breading... I could eat a bucket full of just the breading. Breading and skin. That's the ticket! Anyway, your chicken is outstanding. If I weren't afraid of being arrested, I'd go to KFC to lick other people's fingers – that's how much I like your chicken.
Please send me a coupon for a free chicken, so that I do not have to resort to licking strangers' fingers.
Thank you in advance,
Tom Locke, fried chicken enthusiast |
| Campbell's Soup(#75) |
Soup |
YES!
Four 50-cent coupons |
Dear Sir or Madam:
I cook with Campbell's soup in virtually every meal that I make. Your tomato and cream of chicken soups are the most versatile things around! I can make sauces, gravies, you name it.
Please send me a coupon for a few free cans of soup. It would make my day!
Thank you in advance,
Tom Locke, condensed soup enthusiast |
| Popeye's Chicken(#76) |
Fast food |
No |
Dear Sir or Madam:
I love your chicken, and I love your beans and rice. Do you have any free coupons you could send me for a free meal, or a free side or something? I could eat at Popeye's daily, if my wife would let me!
Thank you in advance,
Tom Locke, food enthusiast |
| Boston Market(#77) |
Fast food |
YES!
33% of a $50 coupon book |
Dear Sir or Madam:
I love your chicken, and I love your creamed spinach. Do you have any free coupons you could send me for a free meal, or a free side or a free dessert or something? I could eat at Boston Market daily, if my cardiologist would let me!
Thank you in advance,
Tom Locke, food enthusiast |
| Bennigan's(#78) |
Sit-down restaurant |
REJECTED!
Told me "no" — sent me nothing |
Dear Sir or Madam:
I love Bennigan's. I love the food. I love the ambiance. Do you think you could me a coupon for a free or discounted meal or something equally fun? I think it would be swell if you treated me to appetizer or something!
Thank you in advance,
Tom Locke, food and entertainment enthusiast |
| Dunkin Donuts(#79) |
Fast food |
YES!
Five $1 gift checks |
Dear Sir or Madam:
I love Munchkins, and I love your coffee. Please send me a coupon for either a free Munchkin, a free coffee, or both! I also like your breakfast sandwiches, so I'd take a free one of those, too.
Thank you in advance,
Tom Locke, breakfast enthusiast |
| Wendy's(#80) |
Fast food |
REJECTED!
Told me "no" — sent me nothing |
Dear Sir or Madam:
I am a tall, skinny guy who loves your food! I once ate two Triple Stacks, an order of nuggets, a broccoli cheese potato, and a Biggie drink in a single sitting. I can't tell you how close I was to abdominal rupture!
Anyway, I love watching people's expressions as I virtually inhale your food. Think you can send me a free coupon or something? I'd like to eat a Wendy's burger, knowing that this one was "on the house"!
Thank you in advance,
Tom Locke, burger enthusiast |
| Papa John's Pizza(#81) |
Fast food |
No |
Dear Papa John:
What sort of genius does it require to come up with the idea to put garlic butter onto an already buttery pizza? Purely genius! I love butter, and I love pizza. Needless to say, your pizza is a party in my mouth. Please send me a free coupon for a pizza or appetizer or something. I can't get enough of your pizza.
Thank you in advance,
Tom Locke, pizza enthusiast |
| Applebee's(#82) |
Sit-down restaurant |
No |
Dear Sir or Madam:
I love Applebee's. I love the food. I love the ambiance. Do you think you could me a coupon for a free or discounted meal or something equally fun? I think it would be swell if you treated me to appetizer or something!
Thank you in advance,
Tom Locke, food and entertainment enthusiast |
| Ace Hardware(#83) |
Tools |
No |
Dear Sir or Madam:
I just bought a new home, and I'm completely clueless when it comes to hardware. Please send a free tool which you think I would find both useful and fun. I will consider it a much-needed housewarming gift!
Thank you in advance,
Tom Locke, home enthusiast |
| Kmart(#84) |
Various items |
No |
Dear Sir or Madam:
I just bought a new home, and I'm completely clueless when it comes to home furnishing. Please send me something that you think would liven up my home!
Thank you in advance,
Tom Locke, home enthusiast |
| Arby's(#85) |
Fast food |
No |
Dear Sir or Madam:
I love your roast beef. I've often had daydreams of replacing my blanket with a blanket of Arby's thinly-sliced roast beef. Anyway. I love your potato cakes, too. Do you think you could send me a free coupon? Maybe for a free sandwich? Or a few potato cakes? Whatever you think would make a nice gift to me!
Thank you in advance,
Tom Locke, beef enthusiast |
| CVS(#86) |
Pharmacy items |
REJECTED!
Told me "no" — sent me nothing |
Dear Sir or Madam:
I am a health and wellness addict. Please send me a random product which you think I would enjoy. It doesn't have to be something big, just something nice! I like surprises.
Thank you in advance,
Tom Locke, health enthusiast |
| Days Inn(#87) |
Hotel |
No |
Dear Sir or Madam:
I love traveling, especially during off-peak seasons. I hate crowds. Please send me a coupon for a free night's stay at your hotel – even if it's only valid during off-peak times. You'll still be making money off of me – I mean, who stays in a hotel for one day, right? Plus, I'll be eating in your restaurants, buying your souvenirs, etc.
Thank you in advance,
Tom Locke, travel enthusiast |
| Hampton Inn(#88) |
Hotel |
No |
Dear Sir or Madam:
I love traveling, especially during off-peak seasons. I hate crowds. Please send me a coupon for a free night's stay at your hotel – even if it's only valid during off-peak times. You'll still be making money off of me – I mean, who stays in a hotel for one day, right? Plus, I'll be eating in your restaurants, buying your souvenirs, etc.
Thank you in advance,
Tom Locke, travel enthusiast |
| Radisson Hotel(#89) |
Hotel |
No |
Dear Sir or Madam:
I love traveling, especially during off-peak seasons. I hate crowds. Please send me a coupon for a free night's stay at your hotel – even if it's only valid during off-peak times. You'll still be making money off of me – I mean, who stays in a hotel for one day, right? Plus, I'll be eating in your restaurants, buying your souvenirs, etc.
Thank you in advance,
Tom Locke, travel enthusiast |
| Ramada Inn(#90) |
Hotel |
No |
Dear Sir or Madam:
I love traveling, especially during off-peak seasons. I hate crowds. Please send me a coupon for a free night's stay at your hotel – even if it's only valid during off-peak times. You'll still be making money off of me – I mean, who stays in a hotel for one day, right? Plus, I'll be eating in your restaurants, buying your souvenirs, etc.
Thank you in advance,
Tom Locke, travel enthusiast |
| Ritz Carlton(#91) |
Hotel |
OOPS!
Returned to sender — "Not deliverable as addressed" |
Dear Sir or Madam:
I love traveling, especially during off-peak seasons. I hate crowds. Please send me a coupon for a free night's stay at your hotel – even if it's only valid during off-peak times. You'll still be making money off of me – I mean, who stays in a hotel for one day, right? Plus, I'll be eating in your restaurants, buying your souvenirs, etc.
Thank you in advance,
Tom Locke, travel enthusiast |
| Westin Hotel(#92) |
Hotel |
REJECTED!
Told me "no" — sent me nothing |
Dear Sir or Madam:
I love traveling, especially during off-peak seasons. I hate crowds. Please send me a coupon for a free night's stay at your hotel – even if it's only valid during off-peak times. You'll still be making money off of me – I mean, who stays in a hotel for one day, right? Plus, I'll be eating in your restaurants, buying your souvenirs, etc.
Thank you in advance,
Tom Locke, travel enthusiast |
| Hertz(#93) |
Rental cars |
No |
Dear Sir or Madam:
I love traveling. Please send me a coupon for a free or discounted rental car. It will be good karma.
Thank you in advance,
Tom Locke, travel enthusiast |
| Avis(#94) |
Rental cars |
YES!
A (soon-to-expire) $25 coupon |
Dear Sir or Madam:
I love traveling. Please send me a coupon for a free or discounted rental car.
Thank you in advance,
Tom Locke, travel enthusiast |
| Alamo(#95) |
Rental cars |
OOPS!
Returned to sender |
Dear Sir or Madam:
I love traveling. Please send me a coupon for a free or discounted rental car. You won't regret it.
Thank you in advance,
Tom Locke, travel enthusiast |
| Enterprise(#96) |
Rental cars |
No |
Dear Sir or Madam:
I love traveling. Please send me a coupon for a free or discounted rental car. Even if it's only valid during off-peak times, I don't care. I'm always traveling.
Thank you in advance,
Tom Locke, travel enthusiast |
| Pep Boys(#97) |
Auto parts & service |
No |
Dear Sir or Madam:
My car is a piece of junk. Do you think you could send me a coupon for like, a free oil change, or something?
Thank you in advance,
Tom Locke, auto enthusiast |
| BMW(#98) |
Auto manufacturer |
YES!
A BMW keychain |
Dear Sir or Madam:
I'm going to be honest with you. I am a poor slob who drives a bike. Not a motorcycle – a bicycle. Please send me a BMW keychain, so I can at least pretend to have some class when I'm around people.
Thank you in advance,
Tom Locke, self-esteem enthusiast |
| Mercedes Benz(#99) |
Auto manufacturer |
YES!
A Mercedes Benz keychain |
Dear Sir or Madam:
I'm going to be honest with you. I am a poor slob who drives a bike. Not a motorcycle – a bicycle. Please send me a Mercedes Benz keychain, so I can at least pretend to have some class when I'm around people.
Thank you in advance,
Tom Locke, self-esteem enthusiast |
| Radio Shack(#100) |
Electronics |
No |
Dear Sir or Madam:
I love gadgets. Gizmos. Doo-hickeys. Please send me something that you think I would enjoy. I'm a gadget guru, and I just want to get my hands on some gadgets.
Thank you in advance,
Tom Locke, gadget enthusiast |
Responses & Free Stuff
All 100 letters were put in the mail on Friday, February 24, 2006 at 9 AM. On Thursday,
March 2, 2006, the free stuff started rolling in. Check the updates section to see what's come in thus far.
My Personal Favorites
Of the 100 letters, it's hard to pick a single favorite, but I'd say my top five (or six) would
be #13 (Carmex), #25 (Nylabone), #32 (PowerBar), #35 (Energizer), #71 (Long John Silver's), and #74 (Kentucky Fried Chicken). Maybe the weirdness alone of those letters will "win" me some freebies...
Getting Technical
If you want to get technical, this experiment actually cost more than $39.
The roll of stamps alone was $39. The envelopes cost $6 or $7, because
I splurged and used the fancy, self-adhesive kind, to avoid gluing my tongue to the inside
of my mouth (as would have happened if I had licked 100 of the cheap kind of envelopes).
Throw in 100 sheets of cheap, white paper and the cost of the domain name,
and you're looking at the $52 experiment.
Since the stamps were still the most expensive part of the equation, however, I opted
to call this the $39 Experiment.
Contacting Me
If you've done something similar and want to tell me about it, or if you just want
to tell me what a fat, lazy slob/bum/mooch I am, feel free to e-mail me at
tom@the39dollarexperiment.com.
(Ed: Tom is getting older, fatter, and lazier and as such is no longer accepting email).
If you have anything interesting to say, I'll add it to a "comments" section of the site
— once I add one, of course.
|
